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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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But then, the day took a turn. I got a call from a client. They wanted to change the whole concept for a project I’d been working on for weeks. I was fuming! Like, how do you expect me to just flip a switch? I was pacing around the park, talking to them like, “Are you serious right now?” I could feel my blood pressure rising.